Hey yo! Look at that! A more frequent entry! I sure hope people still read this blog because it would be suck eggs if I'm doing this for no one. Hahahaha...god, I'm so lame. So anywho!
I just re-watched Tangled for God-knows-how-many times. And I know what you're thinking...
"What in the hell is a 22-year-old guy doing watching Disney movies? A princess movie of all?!"
But hey, don't judge me. There's a whole fleet of grown men who are fans of magical ponies. So yeah. Besides, it was a good movie. Love the funny parts, the fact that the singing parts were not too long and too spontaneous, and of course the story.
But I guess as a hopeless romantic, I have a thing for sappy stuff like that. It's typical for a girl to want that fairy tale type of love to happen to her, but this movie got to my feels real good. It reminded me of how beautiful and special love can be, how it can turn someone who's intentions were purely for one's self into one who was willing to risk all for the happiness of the other.
The confrontation between Rapunzel and Gothel was one of my favorite parts. How things escalated and eventually led to the lead male character being killed. How the lead male character chose Rapunzel's happiness over his life, lived in crime and thievery. How he was able to admit to himself and to her that she was "his new dream," knowing that he may never be able to experience his new dream in the expense of his dream being free from her bonds.
You can say it was rather sentimental in my part as I was also put in a situation where I had to give up what was important to me for the sake of someone I loved. To give up something, whether it be the relationship or your life itself, is something noble in my opinion. Now i'm not trying to lift my own chair here or anything, but let's face it. Anyone willing to give up something he holds dear for the convenience of the other is quite admirable.
But one thing that still gets to me is the last phrase of the magic song used to activate the magical powers of Rapunzel's hair.
"Bring back what once was mine."
10 January, 2013
31 December, 2012
Year ender!
Holy shit balls, Batman! It's New's Years Eve!
Bloody hell, a year has passed, and what do I have to answer for? Absolutely nothing! I have accomplished little to none besides trophies on Playstation Network (add me! experiment727)! Perfect use of my time as I was forced to wait for months just to be let down. I've been here in the States for 9 months now, and most of the time I spent here were wasted away by waiting and dilly-dallying. Needless to say, this year sucked for me.
I've been feeling so out of it since Christmas, to be honest. For some reason, I wasn't as excited as I was back when I was in the Philippines. Maybe its the fact that celebrations back home were so much more vibrant and lively than it is here. Sure, I was in a family party like I used to back then, but it felt like I was far away from everyone. Like something was missing, or I was looking for something. Maybe it was the cousins and siblings I left back home, maybe it was the fact that I didn't know everyone in that room, but sure enough, my mind was somewhere else.
It's like the feeling of excitement about the holidays wasn't getting to me. As if the little boy inside me died and withered away, leaving nothing but a cold husk that is the older me. I once read a joke that the older you get, the less you look forward to Christmas. Hopefully, I regain my "spirit of Christmas" before I turn into a common Scrooge.
As for the New Year, I still recall how things were already warming up in the morning, with a few pops resounding down the street as kids and adults alike lit firecrackers and threw them to whomever unfortunate fellow stumbles on it. News of people injured because of fireworks welcome you along with morning coffee. The smell of blackpowder looming in the air. And when the countdown begins, you begin to question how you will survive all the blasts and flares going on and on for a few minutes all around you. But you sure feel that the celebration was, excuse my pun, a blast.
I miss it, being happy and excited over something such as a day celebrated unlike any other.
The birth of a Saviour, sent down to redeem the sins of all who lived and ever will live. A new beginning in the sense that things changed dramatically with His arrival.
And the end of a year, and the start of another. Resolutions are spoken, old ways are gone. A end to either the best days of one's life, or the start of a year filled with dreams and ambition.
Hopefully I too will find such hope and fervor.
Bloody hell, a year has passed, and what do I have to answer for? Absolutely nothing! I have accomplished little to none besides trophies on Playstation Network (add me! experiment727)! Perfect use of my time as I was forced to wait for months just to be let down. I've been here in the States for 9 months now, and most of the time I spent here were wasted away by waiting and dilly-dallying. Needless to say, this year sucked for me.
I've been feeling so out of it since Christmas, to be honest. For some reason, I wasn't as excited as I was back when I was in the Philippines. Maybe its the fact that celebrations back home were so much more vibrant and lively than it is here. Sure, I was in a family party like I used to back then, but it felt like I was far away from everyone. Like something was missing, or I was looking for something. Maybe it was the cousins and siblings I left back home, maybe it was the fact that I didn't know everyone in that room, but sure enough, my mind was somewhere else.
It's like the feeling of excitement about the holidays wasn't getting to me. As if the little boy inside me died and withered away, leaving nothing but a cold husk that is the older me. I once read a joke that the older you get, the less you look forward to Christmas. Hopefully, I regain my "spirit of Christmas" before I turn into a common Scrooge.
As for the New Year, I still recall how things were already warming up in the morning, with a few pops resounding down the street as kids and adults alike lit firecrackers and threw them to whomever unfortunate fellow stumbles on it. News of people injured because of fireworks welcome you along with morning coffee. The smell of blackpowder looming in the air. And when the countdown begins, you begin to question how you will survive all the blasts and flares going on and on for a few minutes all around you. But you sure feel that the celebration was, excuse my pun, a blast.
I miss it, being happy and excited over something such as a day celebrated unlike any other.
The birth of a Saviour, sent down to redeem the sins of all who lived and ever will live. A new beginning in the sense that things changed dramatically with His arrival.
And the end of a year, and the start of another. Resolutions are spoken, old ways are gone. A end to either the best days of one's life, or the start of a year filled with dreams and ambition.
Hopefully I too will find such hope and fervor.
08 August, 2012
Performance Issues
So recently I got into a fight with my girlfriend. And it was a big one. One thing led to another, and here I am, stuck in a void of her silence. I took responsibility for what happened and what I said and did. It was all my fault. I admitted it, I even took cussing from her. But here we are, in a cold state in which I am probably suffering more than she is.
It has always been that way. At least in my standpoint. It's always been me who took the blame, who took the blow, who did everything to win her back. But was I ever enough for her?
NO.
I've always fallen short, I've always given less than demand. I've always been the one who did not do enough. I have always been inadequate. I can see it clearly, I can feel her judging me for it.
She's always admiring these ridiculously attractive people, tell me how good looking they are, how great they are, etc etc. I cannot agree with her more that said personalities are indeed appealing and talented. But it puts a pressure on me to be something I will never be. It's unfair because I never mentioned anyone that would make her feel the same way.
I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, nor should I be thinking that she's comparing me to anyone at all, but it's still enough to make me feel that I'm never gonna be her vision of great or wonderful.
I was never beyond average, and I've come to admit that. But it sucks that I'm powerless whenever her attention drifts towards someone I can never become.
You may say I'm just asking for too much, but the thing is she never really put that much attention to me as one might think. I can understand when she's busy with something important, but most days she shuns me away while she's doing something unimportant or playing some game.
I must be boring her so much that she never bothers to talk to me as much as she did before. She must be thinking that she should be with someone far better than me. I wouldn't blame her.
But I love her, and it would kill me to lose her again. I will not take no for an answer. But even if she does end up leaving me for someone else, I will continue to love and fight for her, even if it takes me a lifetime.
It has always been that way. At least in my standpoint. It's always been me who took the blame, who took the blow, who did everything to win her back. But was I ever enough for her?
NO.
I've always fallen short, I've always given less than demand. I've always been the one who did not do enough. I have always been inadequate. I can see it clearly, I can feel her judging me for it.
She's always admiring these ridiculously attractive people, tell me how good looking they are, how great they are, etc etc. I cannot agree with her more that said personalities are indeed appealing and talented. But it puts a pressure on me to be something I will never be. It's unfair because I never mentioned anyone that would make her feel the same way.
I know I shouldn't be feeling like this, nor should I be thinking that she's comparing me to anyone at all, but it's still enough to make me feel that I'm never gonna be her vision of great or wonderful.
I was never beyond average, and I've come to admit that. But it sucks that I'm powerless whenever her attention drifts towards someone I can never become.
You may say I'm just asking for too much, but the thing is she never really put that much attention to me as one might think. I can understand when she's busy with something important, but most days she shuns me away while she's doing something unimportant or playing some game.
I must be boring her so much that she never bothers to talk to me as much as she did before. She must be thinking that she should be with someone far better than me. I wouldn't blame her.
But I love her, and it would kill me to lose her again. I will not take no for an answer. But even if she does end up leaving me for someone else, I will continue to love and fight for her, even if it takes me a lifetime.
28 July, 2012
Survived for 22 years!
Yes yes, it's been ages since I last blogged about anything, but I guess since it's my birthday, I should probably do it.
Yes people, I was born 27th of July, 1990. I was born in San Juan, Quezon City, but was raised in Bacoor, Cavite. I've been living there for 21 years, and this is my first birthday outside my homeland. To say the least, it wasn't any different from any other birthdays I have had.
I woke up yesterday, went to work, and just went about my day as usual. I thought nothing of the day, having little to no regard that it was my birthday. I never really made a big deal out of it ever since.
Sure, co-worker greeted me and all, but it was just routine and too common. One of them gave me a shirt as a present. It was a nice gesture, probably just because I was starting out.
When I got home, they had cake for me! It was sweet of them to sing to me as they set the cake, with candles mind you, right in front of me. It felt great, but it didn't last long.
You know that feeling you get when you're expecting something great but ended up in disgust and being annoyed? Well, that happened.
It was a shock to see the least likely people to greet and remember my birthday to actually do something great, and an even greater shock when the person you expect to do something did NOTHING.
I guess it is childish of me to be thinking that way, but it sucks. But I'll just shrug it off, give it a sigh, and let it pass.
I just hope my week's stay in Almanor, CA would give me some peace and slough off the stress.
Mood: Fed up
Yes people, I was born 27th of July, 1990. I was born in San Juan, Quezon City, but was raised in Bacoor, Cavite. I've been living there for 21 years, and this is my first birthday outside my homeland. To say the least, it wasn't any different from any other birthdays I have had.
I woke up yesterday, went to work, and just went about my day as usual. I thought nothing of the day, having little to no regard that it was my birthday. I never really made a big deal out of it ever since.
Sure, co-worker greeted me and all, but it was just routine and too common. One of them gave me a shirt as a present. It was a nice gesture, probably just because I was starting out.
When I got home, they had cake for me! It was sweet of them to sing to me as they set the cake, with candles mind you, right in front of me. It felt great, but it didn't last long.
You know that feeling you get when you're expecting something great but ended up in disgust and being annoyed? Well, that happened.
It was a shock to see the least likely people to greet and remember my birthday to actually do something great, and an even greater shock when the person you expect to do something did NOTHING.
I guess it is childish of me to be thinking that way, but it sucks. But I'll just shrug it off, give it a sigh, and let it pass.
I just hope my week's stay in Almanor, CA would give me some peace and slough off the stress.
Mood: Fed up
15 June, 2012
In A Sadist Kind Of Way
So earlier today, I had an exchange with a rather peculiar girl. She was nice-looking, like someone you'd have a crush over but never got the courage to tell her about it. She seemed friendly, fun to be with, had a lot of things to say that made sense and actually would help a lot of people. Good fashion sense, witty and rather quirky even.
But a few things made me say that she was rather peculiar. One, even though she posts these rather gorgeous pictures of herself, in very nice dresses and outfits, doing all sorts of poses and moves, there was something in her eyes that was rather off. It was as if her eyes had this look of calling out to you, a "Save me!" kind of expression in her eyes. But that could just be me, being all weird and stuff.
And this is where it gets real. I never noticed if she posted photos of her like these, but she had ones that showed her arms. Believe me there was nothing wrong with the picture at all, she was still her classy-looking self, but what stuck me was the state her arms were in.
One word: MUTILATED.
Yes, she literally cut herself in the arms. Real deep. You can actually see them, even though the photos weren't very detailed. Several scars were very prominent, that you could tell they hurt real bad when she did them. I may have done so myself a few times, but damn. What she did to herself was just scary.
She had her reasons, and I know the other people who did the same things to themselves had theirs, but it really saddens me that it happens too often, and it just grows more and more. I may never be able to understand why someone would put themselves on such an ordeal when clearly, they have suffered enough.I can say all the cliche things that I can about how life gets better, and how our past isn't something to mourn about and other stuff, but I guess only they can turn things around.
This reminds me of Edward Elric, from Fullmetal Alchemist. He and his brother Alphonse were in real deep shit when they tried, and failed, to revive their dead mother, at the cost of Ed's leg and Al's body. Ed was blaming himself the entire time for what happened to his brother and himself, but he didn't beat himself up about it. He may have blamed himself continually, but he never did any harm to himself. Instead, he bettered himself, and supported and cherished those he still had, reaching out for what he could, eventually gaining back what was stolen from him and his brother.
I guess I could never get the hang of dealing with the fact that people continue to hurt themselves for reasons I may never be able to know and comprehend, but I do know one thing.
Only you alone have the power to change how your life would turn out, not your past.
But a few things made me say that she was rather peculiar. One, even though she posts these rather gorgeous pictures of herself, in very nice dresses and outfits, doing all sorts of poses and moves, there was something in her eyes that was rather off. It was as if her eyes had this look of calling out to you, a "Save me!" kind of expression in her eyes. But that could just be me, being all weird and stuff.
And this is where it gets real. I never noticed if she posted photos of her like these, but she had ones that showed her arms. Believe me there was nothing wrong with the picture at all, she was still her classy-looking self, but what stuck me was the state her arms were in.
One word: MUTILATED.
Yes, she literally cut herself in the arms. Real deep. You can actually see them, even though the photos weren't very detailed. Several scars were very prominent, that you could tell they hurt real bad when she did them. I may have done so myself a few times, but damn. What she did to herself was just scary.
She had her reasons, and I know the other people who did the same things to themselves had theirs, but it really saddens me that it happens too often, and it just grows more and more. I may never be able to understand why someone would put themselves on such an ordeal when clearly, they have suffered enough.I can say all the cliche things that I can about how life gets better, and how our past isn't something to mourn about and other stuff, but I guess only they can turn things around.
This reminds me of Edward Elric, from Fullmetal Alchemist. He and his brother Alphonse were in real deep shit when they tried, and failed, to revive their dead mother, at the cost of Ed's leg and Al's body. Ed was blaming himself the entire time for what happened to his brother and himself, but he didn't beat himself up about it. He may have blamed himself continually, but he never did any harm to himself. Instead, he bettered himself, and supported and cherished those he still had, reaching out for what he could, eventually gaining back what was stolen from him and his brother.
I guess I could never get the hang of dealing with the fact that people continue to hurt themselves for reasons I may never be able to know and comprehend, but I do know one thing.
Only you alone have the power to change how your life would turn out, not your past.
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