BFF

This is my first time writing a blog in the morning! >_< Almost all my blog were written in the afternoon to the late hours of the night [in my timezone, mind you]! But this wont be any different from any other that I've written so far. It'll be the same garbage you've been reading if you follow this blog of mine. For the last four years, November has been a very depressing month for me. Maybe it's because its the month I lost a lot, mostly relationships. Or maybe because I suffer from S.A.D or Seasonal Affective Disorder. Either way, I feel like sh*t when the last quarter of the year begins. ESPECIALLY November. Why, you ask? It's just because of one person. Someone who has been in most of my life, yet I can vaguely remember what happened between us, which is sad and stupid. My former best friend, who was also my secret crush at the time. She was someone I was comfortable with and pretty much could talk about anything. But that was way back then. It was all my fault for falling for someone I shouldn't that our friendship went down the drain. I made a mistake that ruined what we had back then. The worst part is that I never got the courage to try and take it all back. I was scared of rejection all over again. It was as if something keeps telling me to avoid talking to her, knowing that it would bring nothing but shame and regret in my part. I have this thinking that she's better off without me, that I'm better off not interfering with her again. I felt like a ticking time bomb and I didn't want to go off near her. I know what you're thinking, "WHAT A WUSS! GROW A PAIR AND TELL HER!" Well, I'm not like most guys who do things before they think. Guys who think they can take back things by mere words rehearsed and recited in front of someone. And I find it hard to tell someone that I still love her when clearly, I did something she doesn't want me to. Call me a coward for not talking to her, but I know that she's better off with someone else. She doesn't deserve someone like me. And I already know that she's happy with the way things are. Heck, she might have forgotten about me and that we were friends. But I won't blame her. In fact, I'll encourage her to do so. It's not like I meant that much to her anyways. I never meant much to anyone. I guess I better get used to this. Not having a best friend. I better get used to the fact that I ruined all the relationships I've been in, and ever will be in. Better get used to the fact that the last quarter of my year will be a whole lot chillier than it used to be.

Clingy?

[This was originally from my Tumblr, http://diehardromantic.tumblr.com/] I tend to end up getting too attached to someone I’m friends with. So attached that it even gets to the point where I don’t know where being in-love and friendly starts and ends. It’s the same reason why I end up getting hurt when I see them with the person they like. It’s also the reason I lost my best friend. She replaced me with someone she met later than me, which sucked even more. Oh well, some things aren’t really meant to last. November may still be my worst month, especially around the later weeks. It’s been 3 years, maybe 4, since we last talked and smiled at each other. We probably never will. She probably has a boyfriend and maybe she’s still with her newer best friend. I think there’s little chance I could do anything to get her back. I have nothing to offer her. Well, maybe my love and attention, but I guess it wasn’t enough last time, why would it be any different now? Guess that’s just me not knowing where my place is in someone’s life. I’m an idiot for getting too attached to her, and anyone else.

Leaving.

Greetings, infidels~! [Ok, that was rude. Sorry...] Great news! I recently just got my US visa approved. [Yay! He's gone for good! Woohoo!!] Yep, this ol' chap's leaving for Uncle Sam! In a few month's time, I'll be stepping into a different kind of soil! But soon, I'll be toiling like a work horse to earn a living of my own. I know my relatives over there are excited about it too, but I know I'll soon have to earn my keep for myself. Being a 21-year-old bum is NOT good. But I do look forward to this giant leap in my life. To be able to earn for myself, and start a life I can call my own, that's something I've been yearning for. To be able to buy what I want without having to ask someone for money. And to go to places without having to think of how I'll get there and how much I can spend. I also look forward to being in a totally different environment. Although the current environment that I am in is quite good, minus the crappy roads, lots of squatters with their dozens of toddlers, and the other things no one's proud of. Also, to be able to spend time with my relatives there, who are all hyped up that we'll be going there soon. I look forward to all the times we'll be spending together. THE WEATHER! Yes, of course! Oh, how I'd like to escape the weather we're having these past few months. I mean, man, have you seen the havoc? And all that water! WATER EVERYWHERE!! Also, I'll be able to make good use of my sweatshirts! And jackets! But I gotta admit, I'm having a few troubles about leaving. Ok, maybe a lot, but yeah...they're there. First, I still haven't had a decent conversation with my dare-I-say best friend turned crush turned nothing. Yeah, it all went downhill when I tried to tell her I liked her beyond the "Friends Zone." I dunno if she still wants to keep that friendship, but we haven't talked much ever since, it's been almost 2 years. [I think...wasn't counting...too depressed to think about it...] I really wish I could clear things up before I go. But based on the fact that I'm one nutless b*tch, I probably wouldn't have the balls to do so. But I really REALLY wanna patch things up. I know it may be too late, but at least I won't have to go with a heavy heart towards her. Second, I haven't really had a relationship that stuck while I was here. Like a LEGIT girlfriend and what-not. It was all hidden. Like a relationship ninja. THAT hidden. I mean, I never really got into a relationship that was actually legitimate enough to introduce the girl to my parents. My mom even made a joke that I may have an American citizen as a first girlfriend. IF ONLY SHE KNEW! But seriously, I really wish I had a chance to be in a relationship that I didn't have to hide. Oh well, guess that chance's out the window. And besides, if ever I got into a relationship, I'd feel bad for the girl. I mean, having to put up with a long-distance relationship isn't easy. I've been there, it sucks like eggs. Third, I'll be leaving behind a lot of things I've grown to love and got used to. Like commuting, EDSA, MRT, crowded malls, sari-sari stores, etc. As a typical Pinoy citizen, I've grown to love a lot of things in this 7,000+-island archipelago of ours. I'll miss a lot of things when I'm seas away from my motherland. I just wish it'll still be there to accept me with open arms when I get back. Fourth, friends. Yes, I know I haven't really had good friends since high school, but they're friends regardless. They've been there, saw different sides of me, stuff like that. But I'll miss my high school friends the most, also those coming from the church I've grown up in. Well, I can go on and on about this, but really, it won't make much of a difference...so I bid thee fare well Philippines, United States of America, here I come!

Adding insult to injury?

I suck at introductions, so here's the start of another rant. WARNING, it read RANT so expect a lot of cussing and getting mad and stuff. So today, I went to my college campus for a bunch of papers. I was only supposed to pick up papers that mattered to me, and nothing more. But because of lazy ex-classmates, I had to fetch something that was supposed to have been given way back when we were still students of said college. Not only that, but seems that once again, it was lobbed at me for editing. Yeah, mostly I did the work on this, but the little work I set for the others to do just seemed soooo crappy and full of errors that I agreed on the faculty that I should do it alone, for reasons we both agreed upon. For college graduates, they had lousy grammar and couldn't follow most of the instructions, which were by the way WRITTEN on the paper. It was a total facepalm moment for me. So with a heavy heart, I accepted said paper and will have to toil at it at some point in the future. Oh yeah, I got the papers I actually came for faster than expected. But still, the group paper that was returned to me made what seemed like a good day to me a disaster. So after that, I sat down to relax and try to see what else those blokes did wrong with the paper. So yeah, I just pissed myself off even more as I read every correction noted. If I wasn't in the library, I would have cussed and shouted profanities left and right. It made me want to punch a baby. Then lunch was due for about 2 hours. I could have eaten anywhere I wanted, but thought I could use some company. So I contacted someone from my list of people to catch up with. I asked if she could accompany me for lunch, then asked about the paper I got. Here I thought we could finally get to talk, after 4 years of weak conversations. UNLUCKILY, I thought wrong. I waited for the clock to strike 12, asked if we'll meet, then asked after another hour, but guess what... NO ANSWER!! Right after I gave every detail I could about getting the same document that I secured, she's gone without a trace. That just made my miserable day a lot more worse. So guys... Next time, never ask someone you barely know to accompany you for lunch, dinner, or whatever. Especially when you've attempted several times with the same end result. [Wow, I almost didn't cuss there.]

Angry at Angry Birds?

Hey! It's been ages since I last wrote anything here. I can honestly say I am the WORST blogger for not being committed to my page.
But heck, I had far more pressing matters to take care of.
Like filing my VISA and preparing to get the hell out of this place.

So anyways, the reason I came back to write here is because of something I came across while lazily scanning my Facebook timeline.

AN ANTI-ANGRY BIRDS BILL!! What the f*ck is up with that?!

CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT IT!

Ok, literally, the man is sick of it. He was so infuriated that he actually made a bill about it!

First of all, what is it with this game that got this man soooooo mad?
If you read what was in the link, he was obviously enraged with the fact that most of the products being sold had "ANGRY BIRDS" plastered all over it. But why?

It happened with a lot of things. Boy bands, anime, robots, cheesy pop singers of the 2000's, other iOS games like Plants vs Zombies, etc etc.

I see no reason to be wasting the governments time and money to propose such useless and unprofitable bills. I mean, if that bill was passed, would it lead to progress in such a way that we will be lifted from out Third World Country status? Will stopping people from buying what they want with their money make for a better economy?

To hell with that! It's useless, and I see no point that would make it seem okay.

Same goes with that Anti-Planking Bill.

Like, COME ON!! Who in their right mind would want to do that? A bill that bans people from lying face down, in a rigid state like they're suffering from tetanus? What good will that do? It's a pose! Alright, we get it...you find it annoying, but why make such an effort to put a stop to it? Should you be more concerned about the RH Bill everyone's been dying to know if it'll be passed or not? Or how about the cases of depression, that only raised a concerned when a gay teenager shot his boyfriend then killed himself inside a mall? How about the fact that most of students these days have no respect towards CHED and their decision-making skills towards cancelling school days due to another pressing matter, namely the tropical storms that are bombarding our nation?

Planking, Angry Birds, or whatever unimportant thing you deem is ban-worthy wont make much of a difference. To whoever voted for these sad, sad lawmakers, I hope you're happy with the things these people are trying to prove by focusing on trivial matters, rather than actually trying to make laws that actually matter.

And to those who think these lawmakers are stupid,
FISTBUMP!

I request the highest of fives!