Searching For Father [Chichi wo Motomete]

This song really speaks to me. I first heard this when I was a kid, not knowing what it meant, but still it felt like it was something very dear to me. As I grew older, I began to search for what it meant and needless to say, it was something that really made the connection I had for this show even greater. It was a song about waiting till father was back, being strong till that day, looking forward to seeing him again after being apart for so long. Overcoming everything in your path, till the day you stand before your father as a man.

Growing up, my father wasn't home most of the time, but for the right reason. He worked overseas as a seaman, on a ship to a place I never knew or have been to. But me and my brothers knew that he was doing it for our sake and that we wouldn't be living the way we did had he not gone.We never resented him for it, we were proud of him. We always thought he was off to some big adventure in the vast oceans. We thought it was cool that our father did something different than an office job. But still, being away most of the time and only getting to spend a few months together takes its toll.

So, in a way, what Steve, Big Bert, and Little John felt was something me and my two older brothers felt as well. We see our friends with their dads, doing stuff that we only got to do amongst ourselves. Loads of "Father and Son" activities we couldn't go to. Lots of awards only my mom got to hang around our necks. But I'd thank my mom for raising us well too, but it also made us stronger knowing that as we grew up, we had to take care of things in our father's stead. Much like how the three brothers fought off aliens and grew both as brothers and individuals, I believe that we too grew together and despite how we feel about each other at times, the brotherhood will still hold fast. I'm proud to say that we've become men our parents would be proud of.

That's one of the reasons Voltes V will always be my favorite show because of the fact that my brothers and I can relate to the Armstrong brothers so well. I'm sure of that. And this song will forever hit me in the right places and have a special place for me.

English Translation

There will be a tomorrow
when even this little bird that turned from his parents
can someday return to their kind bosom, right?
Yet why can't I even meet father's shadow?
Am I going to cry?  No way, I'm a man.
I believe, I believe in that day,
the day I embrace my father in my arms.

Someday the flowers of the field and grass of the rainy season
shall meet someone.
Perhaps there will come a day I can say so.
Yet why doesn't happiness come?
Am I going to cry? No way, I'm a man.
I shall endure. I shall bear and wait for that day to come,
the day when I can hold father's hand and laugh with him.

Someday the winds shall sweep away
the clouds hung over the crescent moon
Perhaps there will be a brilliant night
Yet why doesn't father's star shine?
Am I going to cry?  No way, I'm a man.
I shall fight, I shall fight for that day,
for the day I take back father with my own hands.

"There Is No Friendzone!" [Review on Regular Show Season 4 Ep. 28 "Meteor Moves"]

Guardian of Friend Zone: "Ah, but it is—a place of friendly handshakes, back pats, side hugs; a platonic realm where romance goes to die."

Now don't tell me that that isn't true. Because it is. And I'll gladly tell you about that, but I'll get to that. First up, I'm going to try and run you through the episode without spoiling too much of it. I did say try, doesn't mean I won't.

So this episode is about Eileen inviting the duo to go watch a meteor shower that happens "once in a lifetime" as she said so. One thing I liked a lot about this is that she texted Rigby about it.

She could have just told them about it when they got to the coffee shop, but apparently Eileen and Rigby are textmates now. I just love how things are developing between them, because from the moment they met, Rigby wasn't really into Eileen, but after the One Pull Up incident and several others, I think that things are looking up for those who's OTP is Rigby and Eileen.

 

Another point I liked about Rigby in this episode is the fact that he was so frustrated about Mordecai and his reluctance to make his moves on Margaret. Sure, he was pushing him around about it, but most of what he's been saying is true. He pointed out that what happened in the airport 2 weeks prior (Season 4 Ep. 22 "Picking Up Margaret") was just a goodbye kiss and he made Mordecai realize that it was Margaret that kissed him and not the other way around, like he thought it was.

Aside from the character developments (and there is a lot on this episode, but I'll get back to that), we also get a glimpse on some character backgrounds. We find out a lot about the characters in this episode and a lot of flashbacks on Mordecai's part.

Here's a list of what I got from this episode. I'm sure there's a lot more info about this on other episodes, but these are the ones that were mentioned in this episode.

• Mordecai was in Art School back in college, but wasn't able to finish it. When Margaret asks if he'd ever go back, he just wasn't sure at the moment and joked that he might work at the park for the rest of his life.
• The reason Eileen knew about the meteor shower is that she's in an astronomy club, and even named a star. "Best 80 dollars I ever spent!" as she would put it.
• Margaret has applied to three schools for her journalism major, but was unsure of whether she would get accepted. We see a side of Margaret where she's conscious about how she was in the interview but Mordecai sorted that out by reassuring her about herself. 

This is one of the aspects I love in TV shows where they give proper back stories to their characters and don't just throw in new ones and never give them the substance they need. Good for you, JG Quintel! 4 for you! 

So back to the main point I was going to make about this episode. So apart from Rigby pushing around Mordecai about Margaret, he kept saying friendzone, implying that if he doesn't make a move, it'll end with him being in the friendzone forever. Now from the way things were going, and how Margaret was around and towards Mordecai, it was really frustrating to see him spaz out and be awkward. Mainly because it reminded me of myself a lot of times I tried to get out of the friendzone but ended up digging that hole all on my own and jumping down for good measure.

It was great how this episode handled the subject that many people pass off as "another excuse for guys to put the blame on girls for not giving them what they want." But I agree with them. Most of the time, people who claim to be on the friendzone are clearly just people who tried to act "nice" towards their love interest, and disappointed that the feelings aren't mutual when it was time to "cash in" on what they have been putting effort for. 

Now that's just stupid! You don't owe anyone anything if they're nice to you. Being nice is supposed to be something you do, not something you choose to do for certain people. You never demand anything back and that's how it should be. If the receiver reciprocates the feeling, then good! But if not, it just means you're not putting enough effort for the other party to realize and understand your true feelings.There's a difference between being nice towards others and being nice towards someone whom you wish to bed and get whatever the hell it is you want from them.

Now in Mordecai's case, it wasn't like that. He genuinely loved her, and all that's keeping him from it was the fact that he was scared of being rejected. He needed to man up and just go tell her. If not, it'll spiral down into the true friendzone, not the "I was being nice to you because I wanted to sleep with you, but you didn't want to so I blame you for it" zone. Mordecai had pure intentions of being with someone he really enjoyed being with and he found someone who was worth the risk of getting killed by a mob who hates cellphones, going through much-hated clubbing, and lots of other stuff. And we're pretty sure that Margaret feels the same way, because the thing she was most afraid of about going to college was missing Mordecai.

It took a talking asteroid hailed the "Guardian of the Friend Zone," random couples in their cars chanting, and Rigby screaming at the top of his lungs for Mordecai to realize that there was nothing to fear and just go for it. He had many chances, and the asteroid showed him each and every one of it. He rooted for Mordecai because he didn't want him to suffer like he did, and Rigby was just giving him the push he needed.

 

Things I Used To Like and Things I Like Now

A lot has changed in the past few years. I once thought that I'd settle down and be happy with someone some time soon. But chances are it wont even happen at all. And I'm fine with it. I used to be so passionate about meeting that certain someone and growing old with them. But for some reason, that part of me died. And it was so subtle, that I didn't even notice it till now.

I could think of a hundred reasons why that came to be, but to simply put it, LIFE.

Life changes people, opens their eyes to new things, makes them realize things they didn't notice and were too blinded to see in the past. Life happened to me, and it weathered me to what I am now.
Things I used to like, in terms of preference in women, clothing, music, etc. It all changed from what I wanted 5 or 7 years ago.

 I used to like ladies with long, jet-black hair. I guess it stems from the fact that my former best friend has long, flowing, shiny black hair. But of course, since the tragedy that is the falling apart between us, it grew on me subconsciously. I wanted my ex girlfriend to never cut her hair short, keep them untied, etc. It was like I didn't let go of one of the things I liked about my first love that I found in my best friend. Which is sad, by the way. Pathetic at some point.





Now, I can't help but be attracted to someone with brightly colored/dyed hair. It's like kryptonite to me now. I'm still attracted to women of natural hair color, be it red, blonde, black, etc. It's just that my eyes more than likely looks for your striking colors. It makes me think that you express yourself well, you're very open about things and you have this sense of acceptance towards others. I know it's an assumption, but that's just how I feel you would be like. I hope I'm not offending anyone with what I'm saying, but that's how it is in my silly, little head.

Again, it's just a preference and not a bias.

I used to hate heartfelt movies. Thought they were too sappy and cheesy. But since having a girlfriend, I've grown used to watching them and again, it grew on me. But after failed relationships, it stuck to me. I now watch movies that high school me would have chucked out the window and just watched tokusatsu, anime, or some comedy show. But now, I've become more open and watch various movies and actually relate to them.

There's a lot more things that have changed since I last checked myself, more than just appearance-wise. I truly think that embracing change is a good thing, but as much as it is promising, it's still pretty scary. I'm not sure if most of the changes I have undergone are actually for the better, but it's probably very different from what I was back then.

I don't really now if the man I am now is a lot better than who I used to be as a whole. It's hard to tell from my perspective, because I still see myself as a guy who's still not ready for anything, pretty much screwed in every aspect of his life, and probably wont be achieving much till a few more years of so. Hopefully, I did learn something from the past few years that I've gone through, and I certainly never want to be as stupid as I was a few years back.

Screw you, past me, for making me deal with your problems!

Boots of Lead and Other Badassery

So I watched Iron Man 3 today. I know, I'm 20 days late, but cut me some slack!! I'm practically broke and dealing with a lot of things made me watch it finally. Anyways, this blogs gonna contain spoilers, but I'll try to keep them to a minimum for those who still haven't watched it.



Yeah, it's been a while since I've been in a movie theater, and going there alone sucked. I've only ever watched a movie by myself a few times, and I'd much rather have someone with me. Because if I was going to watch a movie on my own, I'd much rather just wait for it to be released and watch it on my laptop or on TV. But since I wanted time out of the house, I took the chance and went.



Iron Man 3 was great! I cannot express how intense it was for me. Entirely way more than what I expected when I saw trailers and whatnot. I wish they didn't do the Mandarin as they did in the movie though. I must say it was a letdown as it would have been way cooler if the ten rings came into play. Anyways, the story was still great as ever, as I could say for the other recent Marvel movies as well.



The main thing that got me was the action. For most of the Marvel films, we all wanted to see their superpowers, weapons, gadgets, and skills coming into play, but Tony, Pepper, and Rhodey took the cake with their action sequences. It made me remember how Captain America told Tony about what he would be without his armor, and in Irom Man 3, he proved that he was more than just a guy in a protective shell. As for Pepper, I really want to give props to her for putting up with all the shit Tony puts her through, relationship-wise and otherwise. She too proved herself when she defended herself and even helped Tony. This movie takes the cake for one of the best out of costume action I have seen so far. It really showed that even though they didn't have superpowers, they still held their own defending themselves and saving the day. Oh, and the barrel of monkeys bit was way cool!



Another part of the movie I really liked was the House Party Protocol. Tons and tons of suits!! I love how Tony had various suits with each their own specialties. And poor Mark 42, as I would coin him the "Prodigal Son." I really wish he was 100% functional in the movie, but I guess we'll see him or his predecessor soon. Of all the armors featured, I really liked Heartbreaker and  Mark 42.

Really, I cannot begin to say how much I enjoyed that movie and can't wait to see Thor and a lot more Marvel films coming this year and the next. Hopefully I get to do blogs about those movies too. 

I'm [Still] Into You

After days of putting it off because I wasn't in the mood, I'm here yet again to bash...I mean talk...about a past love. And you must be thinking to yourself, "The f*ck man, I thought you got over that chick?!" Well, my good sirs and madams, it really isn't that simple. You see, when you've loved a person as much and as long as I have, you begin to accept that you love(d) a person more, and think or look for reasons less. It's the ironic, cruel side of love if you think about it. One that permeates and seeps through your very being, making it almost impossible to get rid off unless someone saves you from the gangrenous malignancy that it has become. You want to cut it off, but you know it'll hurt so much that you wouldn't be able to bear it, much less survive.



But that's just it, there's no saving you from it, at least by your own means. You try and try, looking for ways to block and repress any memories, good or bad. You make an effort to make sure that every trace of her is never to be found again, only to stumble upon it when it's old and full of dust. You always end up going back, looking for what you think should still be there, but isn't. You think you're just looking for closure, but to be honest, you're still into her. You still have a "thing" for her. You find her witty comebacks cute, you still think she's the loveliest person ever even though you have enough reason to say she isn't that great. You still have those feelings or love, longing, and hope that she'll come back but she wont. But you're still into her. And that's just it, there's no way around it.



And that's what I was about to talk about. Since the single came out, it only occurred to me to listen to this song a few weeks back. And every word hit me brick by brick. [Excuse the lame pun] It made me think a lot about how I'm probably the one who invested more on the relationship, so much that I'm still having lingering feelings while she's basically over me like last week's dinner. I know it should be a happy song, but despite the upbeat tempo and beautifully creative music video, it still contains a bit of sadness in my part. I guess that's just me though.

"...and after all this time, I'm still into you."

There's a hint of disappointment in this line that seemed to strike me hard, that I should be over her but I'm not. And despite all the things the relationship has strained and stressed, I find myself longing for her. I try so hard, I really do, but it still comes back to square one. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

But I know that one day, I'll look back and just laugh to myself. Laugh as how stupid I was to be feeling this way over someone who clearly wasn't even serious about it in the first place. I will laugh at how stupid it was to love someone like her. But that day is not today. Until then, I will wallow in this limbo I have created for myself, in which I'm crawling out of but always pulled back in by all the love I had for her. There maybe no more saving me, but I'm doing what I can.

 And here's the song that influenced this post.



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