Why So Serious?

Ok, so just to fill you all in I've recently started courting this girl that I've known for quite some time. Our communication and such have been cut off for almost a year, but we recently connected again. Well, almost.

At first, I was hesitant, but sooner than I thought, I started falling for her again. Not a very wise move to put it simply. But how can I not love her, she's been there always, and she was one of the reasons I smiled when I normally don't. She kept me up at night, and gave me strength all day. I had my mind set that I'm not gonna let this girl slip away for a second time. I was sure that this time, I was gonna make it right, set things straight, and hopefully, win her heart.

But that's not how the story has been going. Before I knew it, I had competition. Now, I'm not really the competitive type, so I did not say or do anything that would entail as such. I just kept on being who I am to her, and what I do for her. Simple as that. But what struck me hard was how she was so affected about him, but never bat an eye, or raised a brow for me. It was as if I was not much to be bothered about.

Next up, I was to do less and less. Yes, the relationship was just starting, but occasional hugs and kisses wouldn't hurt right? But no, she insisted that we save it for later. I agreed, because I respect her decision. But my mind had other theories. It went to overtime trying to reason out why she restricted me. It was as if I was on a leash, and I could only bark if she told me to. I am a submissive lover, always wanting to please the girl I love to keep her happy, but can't a guy get a kiss, or even a hug every once in a while?

Lastly, I recently borrowed her phone. I know, I know, some of you might think that's just too possessive, but my intentions were pure. All I did was browse through her pictures, which I did. She really looked cute in all those poses and clothes, too. But what got me was when someone texted her. It was the guy courting her, other than me of course. They havent been exactly well towards each other, as the girl stated. They were on shaky ground, an advantage in my opinion, but something inside me noted otherwise. It scared me. It was something my poor, little heart might not be able to bear. So I manned up, and returned the phone without questions.

"Soon enough, you'll grow up. Grown up enough to be able to toss stuffed animals and play things, to embrace the pains and reality of the world."

A quote I thought of while taking a shower.

Well, whatever happens, happens. It's up to us to accept them, or deny them.