Opening Old Wounds

Today was my first day on a different section! It was great! Although it was tiresome and uncomfortable, it went better than I could have thought it would. I spent time with my classmates, chatted with them, and caught up with what had happened while I was away. But they kept on asking me certain questions that only led to my silence. I don't know if they noticed (and I hope they didn't), but it really got me.

Has it ever happened to you that someone or something reminded you of what was, and could have been, in a relationship? It may have been when a friend asks you, "Hey, what ever happened to that guy/girl you once liked?" or "So how are things between you and him/her?" Maybe you were reminded by a place where you once went together, or an activity that seemed a lot better if he/she was around. Maybe it's when you lay down in bed at night, when you stare at the ceiling or look out the window, that you recall all the good times you've enjoyed, bad times you've endured, and things that could have happened if things didn't end so soon.

It hurts us, gives us that indescribable angina pectoris we get as we're about to break down but don't. We force ourselves not to fall into pieces, mainly because doing so won't change things.

But a question arises from the issue, "Why do we keep on picking at the scabs and scars of our wounded hearts?" Is it to relinquish a lost love, to reminisce on the good times, and try to search for the reasons for the bad times. Are we that much of a masochist that we can't give ourselves the time and space to heal enough, if not completely, so that our hearts can function one more.

Whatever your answer maybe, let me tell you a few things.

First, if you're going to accept this habit of yours, make sure that you do it in moderation as this may impede all other functioning. As I once heard from a wise man, "The heart of the problem is sometimes the problem of the heart."

But, if you choose to ignore and numb yourself of this, also do it in moderation, as numbness of the heart can be permanent and irreversible if not treated. Remember that when a door closes, two windows open.

So be wary of looking for could have's and has-been's.