Speak louder, why don't you?!!

Okay! It's good to be back!! But I'm back because I have something to get out of my system. Call me an onion-skinned sissy, but I think etiquette and manners are important.

The reason I'm about to go ape-shit on things is because I HATE OBNOXIOUS PEOPLE! So I was on the phone earlier, talking to a delivery service, ordering food for me and some people. But the same people who asked me to order for them kept on talking to each other, RAISING THEIR VOICES. It was getting hard to hear the lady in the other side of the phone call. WHICH PISSED ME OFF. It pissed me off, but I tried to make them lower their voices by waving my hand downwards. But that pissed them off, which was totally uncalled for. So just when the order was about to end, I told them to keep it down. I didn't know if the lady on the other side hear that but it clicked after I said that. NOW THAT PISSED ME OFF MORE.

So as expected, they went anal about it and blathered about how I was sensitive and bitchy about it. So I feel bad right now, given that I was right, and they kept saying I wasn't.

My mom said I shouldn't mind it since it wasn't something important, but still, I think that any phone call, no matter what it's about, should be given consideration and tact. I mean, even if it was just food order, it was still a phone call. It's like talking to someone then someone butts in and interrupts the conversation, with no remorse or excuses.

What set me off more was the fact that they were educated people, people I know would have taken the high road and not bitch about it. But they did, and that just lowered my expectations of them.

On other news, I HAVE TUMBLR!! Yeah yeah, Blogspot...but don't feel bad, I still love you for your simpleness.

http://diehardromantic.tumblr.com/ <~ mah Tuhmblah!!

Do it, but don't break it.

They say that promises are meant to be broken. That they were never really made to be actually fulfilled or kept.

Well, here's what I have to say to that. BULLSHIT!! Yeah, you read right, BULLSHIT!!

Merriam-Webster clearly defines a promise as a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified; a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act.

It can't be any clearer than that!! So why the hell do people break them?! And why promise something you can't really do in the first place?

Does it feel good to know that someone's expecting something from us? Is it that good to feel that someone's getting all excited and shit over something they expect you to give or do for them?

If you answered yes to those, YOU ARE ONE SICK ASSHOLE OF A MOTHERFUCKER!!

HOW DARE YOU PLAY AROUND WITH PEOPLE'S MINDS AND HEARTS!! YOU SHOULD BE PUT ON A STAKE AND BURNED ALIVE!!

If you're going to make a promise, MAKE SURE TO KEEP IT! One of the worst feelings in the world is the feeling of disappointment.

So when you make a promise, DO IT, DON'T BREAK IT!

Or else someone will sooner or later break a promise they made to you. AND IT'LL SUCK LIKE HELL!!

Cardiology is hard!

For a few days now, I've been doing a lot of thinking. On things like how I should conduct myself once I graduate and move to another country as a soon-to-be professional. And how I should be more mature about things like money, connections, responsibilities, and relationships. The latter, which I have been treading on for quite some time now, hasn't been the best of the facets of my journey growing up.

I began to develop feelings for someone I knew didn't feel the same. My best friend. She probably knew about it, but shunned it away. But it could hold it only for so long, that I made a terrible mistake of telling her. And unfortunately for me, it ended in shambles. Broken-hearted, I stepped into college thinking that this would be a fresh start. But little did I know it would end up the same way, over and over again, loving someone I can never have or can never be with for reason obvious to everyone, yet ignored by my heart. I asked myself countless times why it ended so sourly, what did I do wrong, and what was wrong with me. I even blamed the women I've been with for the bitter halts of our relationships.

But a few days ago, it dawned upon me. It occurred to me why I always ended up having such bad, bumpy, and unstable dealings of the heart.

It's because I was still immature. I have an immature heart that is hard-headed and won't learn from the lessons given by each heartache. I need to work on my cardiology, the study of the heart.

So to avoid this cycle of hurtful lies, painful farewells, and wasted efforts, I have to say goodbye to love. No, it doesn't mean I wont love ever again. I just need time out. I just need to rethink everything I have done for the last eight years of stress I have put my heart into.

I need time to take care of my heart. I need to learn the lessons. I have to teach myself what it means to love. I have to learn to love myself before I start loving again.

I don't know how long it will take me, or how much it would change me, but I hope no one waits for me because of this.

Another reason why I wanna stop this, is because I don't want to be a bother to anyone anymore.

So here's to being the student of the "real world" and its cruel, harsh lessons.

See you when I see you. Wish me luck as I study Cardiology (no, not the medicine aspect). You know what I mean.

Raise Your Voice

People argue for the littlest of reasons, and it ranges from toddlers, over their toys, to women, over their boys. It can last for as short as a few seconds to years. But what drives a person to raise one's voice in a manner that always ends sour? What pushes someone to risk ruining a relationship just to prove a point?

I've recently been in and out of an argument with a beloved person in my life. Of course, I had may fair share of sour notes and comments, but we're all good now. I felt bad about those things I said, and the things I didn't say, but what made me feel stupid was how much of an idiot I was to risk a blooming relationship just to prove a single point.

We've all had this type of argument at one point in time, some far too many that one normally should. But we all know it would only end up in two completely different endings, either:

> You get to a point where it doesn't make sense to talk about it or try to work it out, and eventually go separate ways, never to look at each other the same way again.

or

> You get to a point where it doesn't make sense to talk about it, but you DO TRY to work it out, and eventually get it fixed, and your relationship stays.

NOTE: I have been down BOTH roads, but I don'f know if there are any other "paths" down the road of conflict.

They say conflict is good in a relationship, as it helps strengthen bonds. But these same conflicts can also be the detonator of the bomb to your relationship.

I will not make this a long blog about how one should avoid or deal with conflict, but rather, I'd like to address the fact that these petty fights can lead to a serious deep wound not only to your heart, but to your partner, friend, relative, etc.

So my only suggestion is this: Never raise your voice at someone unless its someone with a hearing problem. No good will come out of trying to a conversation if you're not willing to listen.